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mordewis
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Name: Moss
Location: Asheville, North Carolina, United States
Birthday: 12/4/1952
Gender: Male
Interests: All my wonderful friends and loves, new and old :-*
Expertise: I work on webpages for myself and several non-profit organizations; write songs and perform them; and run online and offline support groups. I am a devotee of Siva. I am also an ordained minister and High Priest of Wicca.
Occupation: Consulting
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Yahoo:  zaivalananda
Member Since:
2/4/2003
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| Things continue to improve for me and Sunshine.
I accidentally found a grounding technique that works to get rid of her "rainstorms" (where it feels to her as though a lighting storm is going on in her head). Apparently my treatment is not quite complete, as the rainstorm goes away in record time but often returns several minutes later, but it is just as easy to clear that time too and eventually the problem goes away. So I am feeling much more competent, and the fact that I no longer feel helpless has reduced quite a bit of the anxiety I've been feeling, which in turn reduces my tendency to trigger, and therefore yell. So things are going MUCH better overall.
Sunshine has asked a highly-respected man in the community to be her teacher. I recommended him at least as a source for who might be available, and they just hit it off. She has to ask him two more times, of course, but the third time will likely be in public at Litha. Which, by the way, I have been asked (and accepted) to be onsite Registration Coordinator for.
Also, July 28th will be the date of the first ever Splendor Hollow Music Festival, and I have been confirmed as a performer. If some of you fine people did not know I was a musician, well, sorry to hear that, especially as I have offered my entire recorded history for free to anyone who wants it (send a prepaid mailer and a 4Gb jump drive or SD card).
So wow, things really have a chance of being everything I want them to be. Still quite a few challenges, but the successes to date can be seen as predictive of continued successes.
So there.
Hugs,
Me | | |
| Seems like every time I promise to post more often, and then post less. Been over 3 weeks since my last post. It helps that I have been doing a daily diary using OhLife.com, so I don't think to post to my friends.
Things have been really rough but promising. It's like we have to take the hard way through everything. We definitely love each other as much as ever, but keep triggering the worst parts of each other instead of the best ones. We have had a lot of breakthroughs, and have come up with some really good ideas, but it's still touch-and-go. Amazingly, NONE of our problems have to do with the fact that this woman is 26 years younger than I am -- we seem to be on the same wavelength on more items than I've ever had in a relationship. I really do have most of the "power" in the relationship, but I'm not interested in using it for anything other than improving her self-esteem and such. I don't feel like her father or her teacher, I love her very much and feel quite responsible for her.
We re-filed SSDI claim. I need to get in touch with SSA in Morristown and see if they've assigned a Disability Specialist in Nashville to the case, and need to introduce myself to hir if they have. I also still need a medical POA on Sunshine. I already have an Agent form filed with SSA so they should talk to me, but a medical POA would help a lot.
We don't have income other than mine. We're not likely to get any unless and until she gets SSDI. But my mother just loaned me $2600 to clean out my debts so that all my money goes to living expenses -- except for $90 per month to pay back the loan over 30 months, after which she says she will probably let me keep the money. That makes a huge difference. I can't seem to get Sunshine to learn to stay at home, making eating out and gas our largest "incidental" expenses. I'm making headway on impressing her with this.
We're going to Beltaine at Splendor Hollow, only day-tripping on Saturday (don't want to camp out, there will be too many people there to handle). Sunshine has blended right in with my Pagan friends, even though she knew nothing at all about Paganism before meeting me.
IF we can get her SSDI, we can qualify for low-income apartments. They have just finished building some about a half-mile from where we live, and the rooms would be much larger than this trailer. On the other hand, we could also probably afford a larger trailer. We love it out here in Blaine, the scenery is wonderful, you feel like you're a million miles from anywhere when you are less than 15 miles from a major mall and shopping area.
My music hasn't been going anywhere lately, in fact I've had a cold and don't wanna stress my voice. I'm treating it the usual way -- a neti pot, mouthwash, and nothing else. I find my colds are much less severe and much shorter duration than taking whatever cold remedies I've had.
Sunshine's recovery from the damage of the psych drugs has been slow but certain. Her periods of "infantile regression" are also fewer and shorter. I'm sure that, to somebody, it looks like I'm with her because I like playing with children (insert dirty word here), but that never comes up and I am considerably LESS sexually interested in her when she is less than at her full adult status.
OK, giving away too many secrets. But then, almost nobody reads this, and those who do I can trust. Hugs to Broom Service, Irishis, Megan, and others.
Hugs,
Me | | |
| I've been lax about posting here lately. Sorry about that. Nothing much happening. I have been getting triggered a lot by Sunshine's stuff, but that's to be expected. I seem to have linked to her head issues, so that when she's in pain, so am I. I kinda wanted that, so that I could ground it out and help her that way, but I've been having huge problems grounding, so I wind up screeching at her while she whines at me. It's amazing that we still love each other so much, but it's obvious that we do. So she beats herself up about hurting, and I beat myself up about yelling at her, and we got back to loving each other as much as we can. I really think we'll get through this in good shape, but it will be hard work doing so.
Have a light week this week, if Sunshine lets me keep it that way. I've been doing way too much, and am too easily exhausted.
Guess that's it for now.
Hugs,
Me | | |
| We're going to start packing tomorrow for a weekend at Splendor Hollow with my wonderful Family for our Ostara Gathering. I haven't updated my Gathering Schedule yet, so I'm not sure when the other Gatherings are (or where) just yet. I'll probably just go to the ones at Splendor Hollow.
My sweetie is adjusting to her new life, with me and without drugs (clonazepam, lamotrigine, and Celexa). Long trip for her, but she is facing it bravely and doing fairly well so far. Have to keep hoping for a full recovery. Those things are not safe, and she went totally toxic on them. Have to keep her safe. I also have to limit my own triggers so she is not overwhelmed with my own emotional issues.
Not sure what else to say. Sure has been hot lately, I had to hook up the air conditioner today.
Hugs,
Me | | |
| A lot happening here.
My sweet Sunshine lost her job in Columbia TN and has moved in with me. Saves a lot on gas, but we have to get some income if we're going to make it. Hard to move around my little trailer, but if we can get her Disability we can apply for some new, almost-opened apartments about a half mile from here. We've had to get her address changed with the USPS, IRS, drivers license bureau, SSA, and just about everyone else in the country.
One of the people on my Family phone plan had not paid me for 4 months. When I cut her line off, she blamed it all on me... so I gave the phone to Sunshine, and she gave her ex back his phone. I'm going to change the phone numbers to TN 865, which will lose one of the people on the plan :( but I might be able to sweet-talk AT&T into just letting that go. I need to get the phone back so I can get out of this silly Android phone -- it's costing me about $35 per month for data charges and whatnot.
Had a couple of wonderful days at Cat Faber's house, singing the day away. Cat is a Big Name Filker... but amazingly doesn't know that many other BNFs and I do. She keeps commenting on how much music I know, makes me feel good. I love presenting little-known-but-great music to people who appreciate it.
Hope your lives are gong as well as mine.
Hugs,
Me | | |
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